


I Did Not Sign Up For This

by psykhe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mentions of Facefucking, Mentions of exhibitionism, Multi, No Volleyball, Party Games, Partying, Truth or Dare, is this sorta crack? idk, lots of sleeping around, mentions of group sex, probably ooc but i tried?, sex in future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9777611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psykhe/pseuds/psykhe
Summary: Alternatively titled: why am I stuck with these idiots.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, finally off my hiatus since I finally moved into an apt THAT HAS INTERNET (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و Fuck yeah.  
> I'm trying to regain my motivation to continue my other fics so please bear with me! I promise you I'll work on them...  
> Eventually. Urk. (.﹒︠₋﹒︡.)  
> Anyhow, here's my party-central university starring the high school vball kiddos aged up! Their years will be the same in a way (all first years are uni freshmeat, second years are sophomores, etc.) and well, let's just say for the sake of everything that they're all 18 and over, so at least legal consenting age.  
> Hope you enjoy, and sorry it's all over the place (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

"I cannot believe you convinced me to do _that_ ," Oikawa muttered angrily under his breath. He was currently in a lecture with a person that caused his utter hatred in life.

 

"I dunno man, it was pretty great!" His two-tone haired companion all but shouted, causing pointed looks to be shot their way. "I mean, who knew you'd actually call up Ushiwaka and try to have phone sex with him?" Bokuto didn't seem to care about the lecture, choosing to laugh boisterously as the teacher tried to continue her spiel. He also didn't care about Oikawa's so-called reputation, and it certainly gained them some curious audience.

 

"Shut up!" The brunette nearly shrieked, putting a hand on Bokuto's mouth to keep him from talking, though it just resulted with his hand getting licked. "Gross!" He whined, earning himself Bokuto's attempt to wiggle his brows suggestively.

 

Of course, they didn't notice their teacher was just a row away from them now, staring at them with a menacing smile. "Boys," she started, her voice sickeningly sweet, receiving well-earned gulps from the two rowdy students, "get out before I make you."

 

The two hightailed out, not even bothering to put their things back in their bags and just settled to carry them awkwardly in their hands. They wouldn't know, but the rest of the students began fearing that teacher, especially with the way she snapped her chalk in two.

 

* * *

 

"Sawa-chan, he's being mean to me!" Oikawa pouted, latching himself on to the shortest male and pointing at the _intrusion_ in their usual hang out spot (also known as Daichi and Akaashi's apartment, seeing as it was the closest to campus and tended to be the cleanest).

 

"Bokuto..?" The unrestricted tenant glanced at the doorway where Bokuto was beaming.

 

The man in question began laughing, much to Oikawa's dismay, and began recounting their conversation, finishing off with an eloquent, "I mean, the best way to get over someone is to get over someone else, am I right?" He closed the door behind him, going over to the brunet to pat him on the back. "You've been on that Kageyama guy's dic-"

 

"Excuse you," Oikawa intergected, "I was so the top."

 

"That's what you care about?" Daichi asked with a sigh.

 

"Whatever. Anyways, you're so hung up on this kid, and me and Kuroo being the best buds we are, we got you white girl wasted and yeah."

 

"This doesn't explain the phone sex?" Akaashi inquired, earning a feeble glare from the male now on Daichi's lap.

 

"Akaacchi! You were supposed to be on my side!"

 

"Since when?" He wondered out loud.

 

"Ouch, burn, and here I thought you were the tame one," a new voice was heard, causing the others to look at the newcomer. Maybe Sawamura needed to learn to not lose his keys so often (hence why he gave a spare away), or maybe he needed a new set of friends. Probably the latter.

 

"Pain-in-the-ass Kuroo-san," the younger greeted, causing Kuroo to hold onto the fabric of his shirt above his heart with a gasp.

 

"Yo, Kuroo, I love you and all but I gotta finish this," Bokuto gave his best friend a 'bro-hug' before continuing on with his story. "Where was I... Oh! Yeah! Phone sex," he nodded to himself, ignoring Oikawa's exaggerated groan. "Well basically Oikawa was a drunk mess and I have Ushiwaka's number since he's my gym bro, and when you put one and one together it makes for phone sex!" He pumped his fist up in the air excitedly, not acknowledging that the others were completely lost at his explanation.

 

"Basically," Kuroo decided to fill them in, "he was drunk as shit and we cut him off. He said he'd do whatever for more booze and we told him to have phone sex with Ushiwaka in his room. We didn't think he'd actually do it but I guess he was drunk enough to try?"

 

"Why do you hate me?"

 

"And I quote," Kuroo made the air quotation mark gestures, " _What the hell Ushibaka-chan, I'm trying to seduce you, I don't actually care about what you're wearing!_  But with more slurring and shit." Oikawa facepalmed at Kuroo's shitty re-enactment while his temporary chair along with Akaashi began to chuckle.

 

"Oh! I have a voice clip-" Bokuto was tackled swiftly by the brunet, falling over at the sudden impact while Oikawa wrestled the phone out of his hands.

 

A battle cry and some flailing later, Oikawa stuck his tongue out at the owlish man, handing him back his phone with the sound file now deleted. Akaashi noticed that Bokuto didn't seem too bothered, and with the matching smile that was on Kuroo's face, he knew that they must have sent it to each other. _How much dirt do they have on Oikawa anyway?_

 

"But yeah Oikawa, just be glad your relationship is over," Bokuto stated bluntly, not noticing Akaashi's reprimanding look, "I mean, you dating Kageyama was like, I dunno, dating your brother. Or your son?" Bokuto shrugged, blatantly ignoring the dumbfounded stare the brunet shot him. "It's like if me 'n' 'Kaashi dated, yanno? I took him under my wing, showed him the world, we're basically family!"

 

As Bokuto continued his speech, the others gave Akaashi a weary glance before Sawamura cleared his throat to gain the talkative male's attention. "Um, Bokuto, you do know that you are dating Akaashi... right?"

 

A look of realization spread on Bokuto's face, his mouth forming an 'o'. "Shit, that's right!" It was Akaashi's turn to facepalm while Kuroo couldn't help but laugh (his horrible, dying hyena-like laugh that made Oikawa want to tear out his ear drums) at his friend's stupidity. "Scratch everything I said?" He offered, trying to put his arm around Akaashi who kept shrugging it off.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled: i didn't need to know that about you

"I wish aliens would get me the fuck outta here," Oikawa mumbled, both his arms interlocked with the two Tokyo teens as they dragged him to a house party. Sure, he was planning to go, but not with _them_.

Kuroo ruffled his near-perfect hair (um hello, excuse me but why fuck up Oikawa's well groomed, styled hair? Did he not know how much time went into this?!) in attempts to ease the glaring brunet - something he stopped caring about once it held more animosity. "Doubt the aliens want you perfect-kawa," thank you Iwaizumi for the countless nicknames they could make, "you're pretty and all but you're still on the trash-end of the spectrum."

"Rude!"

They all shared a laugh, minus the science fiction geek, earning some glances due to their loud natures and/or the dying animal noises.

 

* * *

 

Flip cup? Sure. Kings cup? Maybe, too much thought though. Beer pong? Hell yeah. Truth and dare? Fuck no.

Who the fuck plays that in college anyway?

"The night Oikawa gets laid," Bokuto gestured to an imaginary banner once some of the partygoers sat in a circle. It didn't take him long before dragging the nearly drunk brunet to the game.

"A Christmas miracle," Kuroo wiped at an invisible tear.

"It's fucking April," Oikawa spouted, for once more sober than the other two who had immersed themselves in beer pong upon arrival (and didn't let him be on their team).

As Bokuto dragged his roommates (Kuroo was going to go back to playing beer pong with Hanamaki and Matsukawa to avoid anything and everything with the stupid game) into the circle, Oikawa nearly toppling over Futakuchi (who tapped his ass, making Oikawa redden) and Kuroo on Aone ("oh my god please don't kill me"), they were nearly ready.

"Why not spin the bottle?" Someone questioned ("shut the hell up Ryuu, there are barely any chicks!"), though was simeltaneously shut down by Nishinoya along with the rest of the crowd staring at the guy who was probably too thirsty and only noticed the few girls that were in the circle. "I mean, to choose who to dare and shit?" He corrected, easing the weird vibes that were being sent his way. It was a good idea after all.

Once the game finally started rolling, Oikawa calling dibs on first since he was 'here against his will,' the brunet landed on the loud redhead. "Ehhhh, I don't want you," he muttered, about to spin again though most booed him for the lack of sportsmanship. "Hmph, fine, truth or dare?" Okay, so maybe the only reason he disliked the dude was because he was besties with his arch-nemesis.

"Dare," Tendou replied without missing a beat.

"I dare you to sext Ushiwaka-chan." If he went down, might as well bring the whole world with him.

"You do know he won't get it right?"

"Make it super dirty," the brunet said with confidence, watching as Tendou tapped away on his phone, showing the screen once he was finally done.

To: _Wakatoshi_  
big daddy i want u in me  
not liek fusion dance dbz shit  
but in me like sum narusasu ye

"Your typing is atrocious," was all that Oikawa could manage once the world stopped spinning.

"Do I care?" Tendou shrugged off the insult before spinning the bottle and landing it on Daishou. "Make out with Kuroo," he grinned, knowing that the two hated each other (aka would probably lead to some interesting hate sex), ignoring the venemous glare the groomed boy shot him.

"What if I get some disease!" Kuroo complained, pointing at his former junior high friend, "I don't know where that mouth has been!"

"On my dick!" Someone shouted, nulling Daishou's clever retort.

"Let's just get this over with, ya scrub," the green haired boy crawled over and grabbed Kuroo by the back of the head, forcefully shoving his lips on his enemy's. The kiss soon deepened (if Kuroo kissed back, it was just because he was drunk, alright?) which got some cat calls from Nametsu (a usually closeted fujioshi). They continued for nearly a minute, unaware that Oikawa was 'documenting' (read: obtaining blackmail) everything with his phone. Daishou soon ended it with a sharp bite on Kuroo's lower lip, causing the taller to hiss in pain and shove the rich boy off, flustered.

"What, snake got your tongue?"

"Shut up Konoha!"

As the game progressed, dares got raunchier (or downright stupid) while truths led to some people yelling "kinkshame!" Semi revealed that he had already banged five people in the same day (a foursome then a threesome), Sugawara had a daddy kink (to which Nishinoya nudged Daichi in the side, though the older was lost as to what he had to do with it yet strangely aroused at the thought), Kyotani would tap Tanaka's sister if given the chance (he received death glares from Tanaka and Nishinoya for a good ten minutes until Kuroo mentioned that she had huge tits that he'd love to motorboat - he was on the receiving end of the glares then), Misaki had sex with Shirofuku in various places in their college and the public library, Tsukishima was really into face-fucking (had he not been wasted, that would have been a secret he kept between him and his partners), Kuroo was handy with a rope (Futakuchi and Terushima made him promise that they'd have a chance to judge), and so on.

As for dares...

Aone and Asahi had to make out (Nametsu at it again) which led to very red faces, Terushima had a dick piercing (he was dared to run around the apartment naked and hug whoever wasn't playing with them), Sarukui had to take twenty shots in succesion (which led to him rushing to the bathroom to throw it up not even moments later), Oikawa had to bend over and let everyone slap his ass ("Mean Mika-chan, mean!"), Suzumeda had to be on the receiving end of an 'are you nervous yet' game with Sawamura (he ended up chickening out once he got mid-thigh while she didn't even bat an eye, Iwaizumi had to tell the meme-team that he wanted them both inside him at once (they were stunned, but quickly recovered with matching grins and dragged him into Matsukawa's room which more or less ended the game).

 

* * *

 

 

"Iwaizumi, my man!" Bokuto bounded to his bara-armed friend once he resurfaced, grinning from ear to ear.

"You slut, Iwa-chan~" Oikawa teased, looking at the blossoming love bites on his friend's neck and... cheek? "How did- what?" He pointed at the dark mark on Iwaizumi's face. The man was too tired to respond due to his previous activities.

"I did it to mess with him. Didn't think he mark so easily," Matsukawa smirked, emerging from the room shirtless with Hanamaki trailing after him.

"Yeah, you should see his ass! Bruised to perfection~" Hanamaki chimed in.

"Man, he's such a cute catcher. Jeez Oikawa, what did you teach him?" Matsukawa mused one Iwaizumi was out of earshot, probably to get a beer to forget everything that just happened (which was kind of counter productive considering that it was his inebriation that led to actually going along with it).

"La la la I don't wanna kno-wait! I top, I'm always topping! Why does no one believe me!"

"Too pretty," said Bokuto. ("See, someone appreciates me!")

"Too whiney," Hanamaki joined in. ("Rude, Makki!")

"Something about your face makes me just want to mess it all up," Kuroo added for good measure, having joined the group just in time to hear Oikawa's dilemma. (This comment rendered Oikawa speechless as he tried to process this new information.)

"Savage," Matsukawa chuckled at Oikawa's ever-changing expressions at what they each said.

"Wait, so Kurocchi, are you implying that you wanna do me?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind-"

"Mattsun, I'm using your room, deal with it," the brunet pushed past the room's owner with Kuroo in tow.

Bokuto managed to yell a rushed, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else!" before the door closed with a slam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lemme know if i should write the matsuiwahana smut? I defs will write the oikuro but yeah, thoughts?
> 
> as for the mentions in the truth and dare bit, i'll probs make a collection thingy and add them all there if you folks wanna see any in particular

**Author's Note:**

> yeahhh, so last minute decision - partying only starts next chapter cause imo it flows nicer. sorry~


End file.
